From Fear to Freedom: One Woman's Journey of Pregnancy Across Continents

From Fear to Freedom: One Woman's Journey of Pregnancy Across Continents

As I sat in the doctor's office, listening to the unfamiliar language being spoken around me, I felt a sense of unease wash over me. It was my first pregnancy, and I was in Asia,  far away from my family and friends. I had always dreamed of traveling the world, but I never imagined that I would be embarking on motherhood in a foreign country, surrounded by unfamiliar customs and traditions.

Lorrayne's positive pregnancy test in 2018

As a Brazilian, I had grown up in a culture that placed a strong emphasis on family and community. When I found out I was pregnant, I was filled with excitement and anticipation, but I also felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of not having my loved ones by my side during this new chapter of my life. I had always imagined that I would give birth surrounded by the people I loved, in a familiar environment where I felt safe and comfortable.

But life had other plans for me. My husband and I used to travel a lot for work, when we found out we were expecting. We had no permanent home, no established support system, and no idea how we would navigate the challenges of pregnancy and motherhood in a foreign land.

Embracing Motherhood in a Foreign Land: A Personal Journey

At first, I felt overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of it all. Everything from the food to the healthcare system felt foreign to me. I worried about whether I would be able to communicate effectively with healthcare providers, and whether I would understand the cultural differences that might impact my experience as a new mom. I longed for the familiar comforts of home, the taste of my grandma's food, the sound of my mom's voice, and the support of my closest friends.

I had discovered that I was pregnant when we were in Manila, in the Philippines. Due to the unfamiliarity of the food, I had developed some concerns and decided to head to Bali for a more familiar environment. However, after five months, I started to worry about where I would give birth, my fears and insecurities only intensified. I struggled to find a sense of belonging in Bali. 

Lorrayne taking her first scan at the BROS Hospital in Bali, 2018

Overcoming Challenges: Finding a Sense of Belonging Abroad

We started a new adventure searching for the perfect place to give birth and to settle because we still had to work. We first went to Germany, where my husband is from, but the weather was not ideal for him, and the atmosphere was not what we were seeking. Then we went to Brazil, my home country, but my husband couldn't speak Portuguese, and it was challenging to find people who could speak English. Feeling lost and disoriented, we decided to continue our search for the perfect place.

Our next stop was New York City, a bustling metropolis that many people dream of visiting. I had initially thought that the vibrant energy and diverse culture of the city would be a great fit for us. I used to love to visit NYC. However, as soon as we arrived, I realized that the constant noise and frenetic pace of life were overwhelming for someone coming from a quiet and peaceful island, especially being pregnant. To make matters worse, it was freezing November, and the biting cold made venturing outside even more challenging. Navigating the crowded streets and packed subways proved to be too much for me, and I yearned for a quieter, more peaceful environment.

Lorrayne in NYC in November, 2018

We then decided to travel to Puerto Rico, hoping that the island's warm climate and beautiful scenery would provide a more suitable setting for my pregnancy. However, upon arrival, we were faced with the harsh reality of the country's struggle to recover from a recent devastating hurricane. The storm had left behind a trail of destruction, and the once-vibrant island was now a place of chaos and uncertainty. The local infrastructure was severely damaged, making access to essential services like healthcare and transportation difficult. I felt completely disoriented and unsettled by the state of the country, and it became clear to me that this was not the ideal place to give birth.

It was at this point that I realized finding the perfect place to give birth would not be an easy task. The journey to discover a location that would meet our needs for safety, comfort, and accessibility seemed to be more complicated than I had initially anticipated. I began to understand that the ideal environment for bringing a new life into the world would require more than just beautiful surroundings or an exciting culture; it would necessitate a balance of practicality and emotional support, which proved to be elusive in our search.

Lorrayne at 22 weeks pregnant in Puerto Rico, 2018

We eventually made our way back to Asia and ended up settling in Johor Bahru, Malaysia, which is only 30 minutes away from Singapore by car. Although it was not the place I had originally imagined giving birth, I quickly fell in love with the architecture, good healthcare system  and affordable prices. 

The Importance of Community Support for Expectant Mothers

As I approached my due date, I found comfort in the fact that most people in Asia spoke English. This made communicating with healthcare providers much easier, and I was able to understand the cultural differences that might impact my experience as a new mom.

When the day finally arrived, I was nervous but also filled with a sense of wonder. I was grateful to be surrounded by a team of competent healthcare professionals who spoke English and who were knowledgeable about my unique needs as a foreign mother. Despite being far away from my family and friends, I felt a sense of community and belonging with the people around me.

After my daughter was born, I was amazed by the level of care that I received in Johor Bahru. The doctors and nurses who took care of me were some of the most modern and updated medical professionals I had ever encountered. The postpartum care was impressive, with nurses checking on me regularly and providing me with valuable information about breastfeeding, recovery, and caring for a newborn. I was able to receive excellent medical care, even in a foreign country, which gave me a sense of security and confidence as a new mother. The healthcare system in Malaysia exceeded my expectations, and I felt grateful for the level of care that I received during one of the most important and vulnerable times in my life.

Lorrayne visiting Dr Hafetz Ahmad at KPJ Hospital in johor Bahru, Malasya

Adapting to Cultural Differences in Pregnancy and Childbirth

Adapting to cultural differences in pregnancy and childbirth can be a challenge for any expectant mother, especially when navigating a foreign healthcare system. It is important to understand that cultural practices and beliefs can vary widely across different regions and communities, and what may be considered normal or acceptable in one culture may not be in another. This can include everything from birthing practices and postpartum care to dietary restrictions and social norms. As such, it is important for expectant mothers to approach their pregnancy and childbirth journey with an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt to the cultural practices of the community they are in. By doing so, they can gain a better understanding of the cultural context of their pregnancy and childbirth experience, which can ultimately enhance their overall experience and sense of belonging. Additionally, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with healthcare providers, as they can provide valuable insights into the cultural practices and beliefs that may impact an expectant mother's care. Ultimately, adapting to cultural differences in pregnancy and childbirth requires a willingness to embrace diversity and a deep respect for the traditions and beliefs of the community in which one finds themselves.

Lorrayne at the Labour room at KPJ Hospital, Malaysia in 2018

Lessons Learned: Becoming a Stronger, More Resilient Parent

Giving birth in a foreign country was not without its challenges, but it was an experience that I will never forget. I learned to be adaptable and open-minded, and I discovered that motherhood transcends cultural differences and language barriers. It was a reminder that, no matter where you are in the world, the most important thing is the love and support of the people around you. 

After my first pregnancy, my husband and I decided to settle down in Bali, Indonesia, and give it a second chance to be our home. I was a bit hesitant at first, having experienced the difficulties of being pregnant in a foreign country before. But to my surprise, Bali turned out to be an amazing place to have a baby. The healthcare system was modern and well-equipped, and I received excellent prenatal care from a team of experienced doctors and midwives.

Lorrayne during her 2nd pregnancy visiting her OG, Dr Ayu Vikananda at Puri Bunda Hospital in Tabanan, Bali in 2021

During my second pregnancy, I felt much more relaxed and confident. I knew what to expect, and I had a supportive community of fellow moms to turn to for advice and support. I also made a conscious effort to embrace the unknown and try new things, which led to some amazing experiences and friendships.

Kat Ceyton and Lorrayne Peri at the Hilton Resort Nusa Dua, both were pregnants in 2021

After my baby was born, I was once again blown away by the quality of postpartum care I received. The midwives were incredibly knowledgeable and supportive, and they helped me navigate the challenges of breastfeeding and caring for a newborn with ease.

Today, I am proud to call Bali my home. I have a wonderful community of fellow moms and friends, and I feel more open to the unknown than ever before. While motherhood can be challenging no matter where you are in the world, I have learned that with the right support and mindset, it is possible to thrive and find joy in even the most unfamiliar of circumstances.

As my child grows and develops, I am grateful for the experiences and insights that I gained from giving birth in a foreign country. I am proud of myself for overcoming the challenges and for embracing the new opportunities that motherhood in a foreign land presented. It was an adventure that I will never forget, and one that has made me a stronger, more resilient person.

Lorrayne and her daugters - Ella and Liv in Bali, indonesia

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